Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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