The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
