The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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