Screwed.edu
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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