were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
