The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i think i have two assholes
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I am one with the molecules
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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