you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
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