he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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