So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
