Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
