remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
