Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Randomize
