Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
i dont even know how to be here
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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