Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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