my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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