we're blogging at a bar
from now on my penis is your penis
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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