Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i can't believe i had my finger in that
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
