dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
