You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
