where am i from again
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Randomize
