Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize