And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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