Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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