I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
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