I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
