Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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