U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Randomize
