I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
smell my finger.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
