Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Randomize
