Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize
