dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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