so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
