so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
