Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
