i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
