I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
