if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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