Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
