why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
