Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
