By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
