Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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