So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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