Buhtt sex?
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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