I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
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