What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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