I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
