Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
