I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize