Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
