How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I want to be your penis for a week.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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