You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
