Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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