I wanna passion pit in your ass
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
