If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
false alarm, still single
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
