Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
