"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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