there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
