I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
