just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize