just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize