I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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