hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
