Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
