i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize