Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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