i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize