For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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