you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
