It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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