All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
