i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
