DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
