You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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