everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
