Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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