In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
