guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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