he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
