You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
